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The Flag of the World

-G. K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

This here blog is a glimpse or two or three at the condition of the 'fortress of our family' through the eyes Timothy Goddard, a Christian writer with an unhealthy interest in politics living in the Puget Sound area.

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Wednesday, November 05, 2003


As promised, writing exercise #1
I'd like to make this exercise a habit, so if anyone sees a truly bizzare headline such as this one, please email me.
Toxic ghost fleet urged to turn back
British Prime Minister Tony Blair today repeated his plea that the slow-moving, radioactive French ships pointed at his nation's shores return to their origin, this time on every frequency known to man--and a few that aren't.

Blair's message was carried on every possible radio, cellular and other wireless frequency in both English and French, effectively shutting down all other wireless communication in the United Kingdom. It was also sent in Morse code, by way of maritime signal flags, written on leaflets dropped by fighter jets and via a pair of volunteer psychics hoping to reach what many, including three Navy officers who survived an encounter with them, insist are paranormal presences on those ships.

Blair repeatedly requested that the ships alter their course, which will lead them directly to the city of Brighton on the southern coast of England in four days if left unchanged, and to "return to French waters to await assistance." He cited "more devastating loss of life" should the ships reach the shore, which Blair later insisted was a reference to the radioactive nature of the vessels, not any "paranormal force," though he did not deny that the government had allowed self-proclaimed psychics Mary Basewell and Elizabeth Chantey to relay his message from the same location as those relaying with Morse code and maritime signal flags.

Conservative party leader Michael Howard, though, insisted that merely sending paranormal signals was not taking the situation seriously enough. Citing the accounts of the Navy officers who returned from the fleet alive--three out of fifteen--which insisted that the fleet is manned by ghosts, Howard demanded an immediate military strike on the fleet. When asked how, if the fleet was in fact manned by ghosts, conventional weapons would do any good, Howard shot back, "do you have any better weapons in mind?"

The fleet of ships--made up of pleasure yachts, military ships, fishing boats and numerous other vessels that somehow survived last weeks nuclear disaster--has sparked a near complete evacuation of Brighton and surrounding areas.

The ships were first sighted emerging from the toxic mists three days ago, four days after catastrophic nuclear explosions turned most of France into a radioactive archipelago. No one has yet claimed responsibility for the blasts, nor has their cause been determined.

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